The Gap into Mirror Land Wiki

A ripe ussusimiel gourd. Quick! Pick and eat it before the next Sunbane comes along and dissolves it into goo.

Ussusimiel - a slightly corrupted abbreviation of the phrase "Man, but I could really use a meal" - is a Landish plot device pumpkin almost on par with aliantha regarding nutritional values. Like its berry equivalent, it grows wherever worn-out protagonists roam. Ussusimiel grows on ground-creeping vines and the colour of its gourd-like fruits ranges from bright magenta through to the darkest ebon. The flesh of these, although having a bland taste, can provide much-needed nutrition to any wandering footsore questers.

This pithy delicacy was introduced in the Second Chronicles; apparently some evolutionary twist caused it not to spread its melony bulges around ere this. Hence, how did it arrive into the Land in the first place? Did some Insequent bring seeds back from the future, making it one of those “I am my own grandgourd” -type of impossibility fruits? Did some get stuck to the hooves of the Ranyhyn while visiting Ponyville through an inter-equestrian space-time portal? Alas, all these mysteries to consider!

Unlike aliantha, one does not have to perform a seed-spilling ritual after every snack. The plants may sometimes require blood offerings, in particular the glossy deep purple or black ones with their vines curling into suspicious 666-shapes and the low hum of church-burning Norwegian black metal echoing from within their rinds. Sunder grows a batch of ussusimiel from thin air by slashing his wrists open and groveling (no, not graveling) beneath the awe-inspiring might of the Sunbane.

WARNING - ussusimiel should not be confused with a similar sized gourd that hangs from trees known as mirkfruit. Although the latter can, if carefully dealt with, produce a reasonable amount of water to sustain a thirsty hero, it will if roughly handled emit a cloud of noxious vapour that will render the unwary unconscious for a while. To help distinguish between these two, the inhabitants of the Land in the Second Chronicles have come up with a useful mnemonic ditty that is taught to all their children at a young age:-

"If the melon grows on the ground,
It may be eaten all day round.
But if it's tree gourds that you've tasted,
Holy shit! You'll soon be wasted.
So remember this - the ground's the place,
Or you'll be getting off your face."