Infelice

Infelice, voguing it for all she's worth

Infelice (lit. "unlucky/unhappy" from the Latin) is foremost among the Elohim. Although not exactly their queen as such, she acts as the leader and spokesperson of this mystical and arcane race. She appears in both the Second and the Third Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.

Appearance and Character

As with all Elohim, Infelice has the ability to shape-shift, metamorphosing her form into quite literally anything she likes - which must save millions on her overall fashion budget. She can also make herself invisible, although if one listens carefully when she is around, a faint jingling may give away her presence - some say this is of bells, whereas others maintain that it is cash.

Visually, the form that Infelice prefers to adopt when she puts in an appearance is that of a total fox. A drop-dead gorgeous überbabe. An "Oh my God! I think I've died and gone to heaven!" hottie. Try to imagine, if you will, a woman combining the very best of Grace Kelly, Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Got the image? You may be needing to pour iced water down your boxers if you have, but you're not even near. Not by a million miles. Stood next to Infelice, even Jessica Rabbit would look like the Elephant Man.

Unfortunately, Infelice's personality does not match up to her jaw-dropping appearance. She has all the arrogance and petulance of a valley girl with a rich daddy, several maids and a limitless trust fund. "Spoiled" simply doesn't come close - in terms of personal humility, she makes Paris Hilton look like Mother Theresa. In fact, Infelice is permanently convinced that the Elohim as a whole - and particularly herself - are so far above every other single creature on the face of the earth that they are all entirely unworthy even of her notice, let alone her contempt.

It'd be way WAY too charitable to call Infelice proud, or even haughty - if truth be told, she's the biggest stuck-up beeyotch you could ever come across. She has single-handedly taken egocentricity and disdain to previously unimaginable levels, where "snobbish" doesn't even get a look in. Infelice is so arrogant that, if she were ever asked if she was vain, presuming she'd even deign to reply, she'd answer: "Yes, but then again, I have every good reason to be."...

...but hot damn, she's a looker. And then some. And then some more.

Activities

Infelice spends most of her time in her home on Elemesnedene at an eternal cocktail party, where against a background of softly playing jazz, she and her fellow Elohim permanently lounge with effortless elegance on immaculate white kidskin designer couches, sipping perfectly mixed vodka martinis from exquisitely crafted glasses, apparently just making sparklingly witty conversation but in reality all actually trying desperately to out-vogue each other. Think any typical Beverly Hills party here.

Relationships

Infelice would never stoop to having something as mundane as a relationship, since she thinks herself too good for anyone or anything - which ironically is exactly what every other member of the Elohim equally sincerely believes. It's a good thing that the race is eternal, since there's no chance of any of the Elohim ever doing anything as messy and inelegant as bumping uglies together to make little Elohim-ettes.

Having said that, there is a rumour that Infelice did have a hidden crush on one particular Elohim, namely Kastenessen, who used to be the equivalent of the all American star high-school quarterback to her cheerleader - or to put it another way, he was the alpha male jock to her alpha female prom queen. Unfortunately and entirely out of Elohim character, Kastenessen decided to slum it and get jiggy with a mortal woman, Emereau Vrai, a thing for which he was cast out of Elemesnedene forever for the unspeakable crime of "no longer being cool".

Portrayals

• http://kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=20067
• http://www.behance.net/gallery/Infelice/11327405
• http://zorm.deviantart.com/art/The-Last-Dark-cartoon-FINAL-341490042